grieving

It was a year ago last Friday that we said our final goodbyes to my Nana. The day is fresh in my memory. I have not had a day that I did not think of her this year. She was such a wonderful blessing to me and my family.



Last Saturday we had to say goodbye to our faithful friend Saidee. She was sick for a week, and we didn't quite know what was wrong with her, but she just kept declining. She has not been a healthy dog the past year, and has been in and out of the vet with stomach problems. The vet said she was bleeding internally, and it most likely was from a tumor. She had lost so much blood, that the only option was to put her to sleep. It's been a very sad week!

Our chocolate lab, Koda has been grieving too. He doesn't want to chase squirrels anymore, and has been wanting to be inside all the time. He lays on Saidee's bed in front of the fireplace and looks sad. We have made extra effort to take him for walks and play ball with him. I know it will take a little while for him to feel better, but I hope he will get back to himself soon. It really seems strange that he's not giving those squirrels a bad time.

The boys have been gathering pictures of Saidee to put together a scrapbook for her. I think this will be very healing for them, and it's also great for a school project. Then after that is done, maybe it will be easier to get in the Christmas cheer.

Deep thoughts and wonderings

My heart has been heavy lately and I have not known how to express what is going on in my heart. I feel we are at a cross roads right now, and we are just standing here waiting for the Lord to lead us on the path that he wants us to go. I know that I just want to be in the center of His will, whatever that is.

We don't know at this point if Larry's work will be there tomorrow. Things are really tight at Pearson, and work is very slow. Yet, I know if he comes home and says that he does not have a job...God will still provide. His ways are far above my ways, and he knows the plans he has for us. My job is to trust and obey. I am asking for more faith right now, and a better understanding of His will for our family.

Lately the Lord has been putting a great burden on my heart for the downcast. My heart is breaking for the people all over the world who do not have warmth, or food, or a way to be clean. The ones who are sick and lonely, for the unsaved. God has only given me a small glimpse, and my heart is so heavy...I can not imagine the pain Jesus must feel in his heart for his children!

I asked Jesus last night why His children are going hungry, why is he not providing food for them? In Psalms it says that His children will not go without bread...So why are these people starving. I heard a still small voice say," because my church is not doing what I have commanded her to do." I know that when He says the "church", I can point the finger right at myself and say because I have not been doing what God has commanded me. Anyone who has said the salvation prayer, and asked Jesus to be his or her Lord is the Church. We have a commission by the Lord to go out and reach the dying world for him. We are his hands and feet in the world!

Isaiah 58:5-7
Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for a man to humble himself? Is it only for bowing ones head like a reed and for lying on sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord? Is not this the kind of fast that I have chosen:to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter- when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
The whole chapter of Isaiah 58 is amazing and you should get out your bible and read it. It goes on to tell you how God will bless you if you do His way.

Jesus came and walked on the earth, and he taught us how to love. He also commanded us to love. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. He laid down his very life so that we could be free. He sent his Holy Spirit into the world to empower us to live for him. He gives us all we need to do what is right....then why do so many who call Him their God, not do what he has called them to do. I am not just pointing my finger at everyone else, because my finger points back at me as well. It is more burdensome to live a selfish life, than a life of love.

Never Gonna Stand For This by Teachenor Clark

I saw this on facebook, and I just had to post it on my blog. I feel it really sums up what a lot of us are feeling right now. I know I am completely fed up, and ready to take a stand.

Keep yourself informed on what is going on. Do not depend on the liberal media either because they are not giving you all the facts. Pray for our Country, Pray for revival, and make sure you vote in November.

Crying out for Daddy

Today I was sitting in line at Costco and notice a small boy about the age of two in the line beside me. He was on one side of the check stand while his Mommy was on the other side. He was holding out his arms to her and saying," Mama I want you, I want to get out of the cart, Mama I need you, please Mama please."

As I was witnessing this the thought came into my mind. I thought about our Abba Father. I thought about the fact that there are times when we don't think we can do it on our own and we cry out, "Abba father I need you, I don't want to be apart from you any longer, I need your protection, I need your love, I need to feel your arms of safety around me."

There are times that He does let us learn to walk a little on our own, he lets us endure uncomfortable circumstances. HE gently tells us that He is right there, that He sees us, that he is with us, that he is working things out for our good. Just like this Mama who was calmly looking to her child, she was letting him know your alright, I am right here, I am not going to let anything happen to you, I am not going to leave you, I love you.

We should always be calling out to our Abba father, always seeking him in every situation. He is always listening, He always cares, and will always guide us in the right way. He always has open arms to comfort us. He is our Abba Father, our daddy. His love is unconditional, and we can trust him to never let us down.

Creativity in the kitchen

Today I have been in the kitchen most of the day. I am trying to be creative this week and see how far I can stretch the things that I have in my pantry, fridge and freezer. I would really like to be able to make it to next payday without having to go to the store. What do you think they did in the old days? I have been asking myself this lately. We are so spoiled now days with a market on every corner. Everything is open twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.
Today I made breakfast bars out of oatmeal, very ripe pears, raw honey, extra virgin coconut oil, cinnamon, and nutmeg. I am sorry that I don't always measure ingredients so that I can share the recipe with everyone. I want to get better about this, but it really goes against my creative bend I think. Anyway, I do not use the oven to bake this. I use my dehydrator set on 120 degrees and it takes six to eight hours to cook. I have made a variety of different breakfast bars this way; apple crisp bars made from all the ingredients that you would use to make apple crisp. Chocolate almond coconut bars is one of the families favorites. Really you are only limited by your creativity or lack there of. I am sensitive to wheat products so I make my own nut flour, or oat flour with my food processor. It is really fun, and the boys eat my breakfast bars without complaint.
I have just finished up dehydrating about 40 pounds of peaches. I will use these throughout the fall and winter in a variety of different things, if I can keep certain peoples fingers out of them. They really taste so sweet and nice all by themselves.
I cut up veggies today, and I wish I could say they were all from my garden. Maybe next year. I like to have a big container of fresh veggies for anyone who says they are hungry. They are washed, and cut, and easy to grab. It does take some time to prepare them all but it is really worth the effort.
I boiled about 14 eggs today and made a batch of egg salad for sandwiches. These eggs are such a blessing to us, because they are from my dads chickens and he give them to us for free. I got a really good papa!
I made peanut butter today with my vita- mix machine, and guess what. I measured the ingredients so I can share my recipe.
Four cups dry roasted peanuts (Winco has the best prices on these)
1/2 cup extra virgin coconut oil in liquid form. ( heat it on the stove in a pan on low heat.)
1/4 cup honey (you can heat this with the coconut oil because you want it to be as syrup like as possible.) Just make sure you stir with a wooden spoon.
1/2 teaspoon to 1 tsp sea salt.
Put all the ingredients in the vita-mix turn on at variable speed, then up to high. You have to use the plunger thing to keep pushing the peanuts down into the blade. It really is very loud while it is grinding but don't be afraid just keep working the peanuts down into the blade until they are all creamy. This mixture does not have to be refrigerated, but should be used within a week or two.
I have made the peanut butter with canola oil too, and it works just as well. If you use canola oil put the peanut butter in the fridge to store or it will be to runny.
I hope you are encouraged to get in your kitchen and be creative. It really is a lot of fun. Our food doesn't have to come from a box.

Can prepositions be fun?

There is a certain individual in our home who is so very creative. He does not want me to mention him by name, but says I can share his word for the day. He was told to write a list of all his prepositions that start with the letter b and make a prepositional phrase for each one. This is what he wrote.

The devil is behind you,
below you,
beneath you,
beside you,
between you,
beyond you,
by you,
but don't be afraid because God is on your side.

I thought it was quite clever, and was proud of his effort.

The most excellent way

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angles, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all that I have to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 1 Corithians 13:1-3

There is much I want to say, but I have no words in which to say them. The Lord has closed my mouth for the time, but he has opened my heart.